How I knew it was time for a major life shift
Confessions of a serial home improver.
Consider these first few posts our time to settle in and get to know each other—I’ll start sharing renovation details, shopping sources, and interviews once the foundation has been laid. Please note that this is the 2nd of 3 free posts. I hope you’ll consider upgrading to a paid subscription, so you can see all my weekly posts and join the Homeward chats. From what I can see from our last conversation, you have fantastic things to share—and your stories are already giving me ideas for future posts and experts to feature!
I’m a planner. And a relentless improver.
These traits make for smooth-running vacations, a fridge filled with food in all the right drawers, and a home that is cared for. They also make for a difficult person to live with, especially when you’re my husband Tad, and you’re usually pretty happy with the way things are. I fret over the fraying pillowcases. I get into the weeds about hotel options. Just when you’ve gotten used to where the cereal bowls are, I move them. Something is always in the works.
Late in 2020, at the height of the pandemic, our twins were freshmen in high school, and I started thinking about our future. In three years our kids would be in college and our homelife and its obligations would shift. A new phase was coming; it was up to us if we wanted to embrace it.
New York City, where Tad and I have lived for a combined half century, was weighing on me. I moved here in 1997 for a job at The New York Times. That was my chance to make it—and I hustled. After a decade, I left the Times to start a company, something that required multiples of hustle. I love my work, but, after more than 20 years, New York City had come to represent a place where I slept and worked and did little else. And its winters seemed increasingly cold, dirty, and long. The city’s charms recede when you don’t have time to access them.
Tad and I had also only lived in one place together. We’re attached to our home in Brooklyn, a second-floor apartment in a small brownstone co-op—but that attachment has been severely tested. (You can read about how we survived squirrels in our ceilings—and then our bedroom; squirrels and rats fighting in our kitchen; clothing moths in our closets; bed bugs in our kids’ room; and pigeons pooping all over our deck. You may well decide that we’re insane—enjoy!). The apartment’s floors are mostly wood, some of it old and charming, all of it in a patchwork of styles, with nailheads that keep having to be hammered down. The windows are large and original, aka drafty and impossible to open. The heat is controlled by a dial in the basement, in a boiler room that looks like a dungeon. To reach it you have to go outside and undo a janky padlock on an iron gate—something Tad dutifully does whenever we can no longer stand the heat/chill.
Also, our apartment, which was billed as a three-bedroom, is more like a two-bedroom with extra-large closets. Our co-op board noted that no family had lived in the apartment for more than 5 years because they always outgrew it. Well, we sure proved them wrong! Doing so has meant we’ve played musical chairs with the rooms, making them work for whichever new stage we were in. What is now my study has been, at various times, a room for two cribs, a room for our kids to do arts and crafts, and our daughter’s bedroom when she was a tween. But now, with the prospect of our kids no longer being at home, we’d need to start considering how we might live differently—and design differently. Maybe even in a different time zone.
I began to dream of having an actual pulled-together house in a warmer climate, a place we could go during the cold months, a place that was beautiful and unscarred by associations with decades of hard work. A place that would mark a new phase of our life and keep us evolving. Tad was open to the possibilities—and he began quietly bracing for my planning mode, which can make the Normandy Invasion look relatively spontaneous.
I didn’t realize this until later, but as much as I was yearning for a new environment, I was also craving a creative project. I like building. I like making. There is no more comprehensive form of self-expression than creating a home.
For this new place to become a reality, we’d need a year (minimum!) to find and buy a house. Any place we could afford would likely need work, so we’d need another year to plan the renovation—at least I would; home decisions have a long tail—and a year or more to complete the project.
By my math, if we wanted to have a house ready to go once our kids went off to college, then we were already behind schedule. Ack! I immediately flipped on the planning switch…
I’d love to hear about your future home dreams and plans. See you in the Chat!
Home we go,
Amanda
P.S. Loud shout-out to
who was the first person to tell me I should create a Substack. If you don’t already know Joanna, she’s the founder of Cup of Jo, and now has a special life advice and dating newsletter on Substack, Big Salad.All home interiors photography by James Ransom.
The place where I gather my latest finds and late-night research on everything from real estate intel to shopping sources. This week, a few things I’m gathering for our new house and a new collection from Schoolhouse:
These are sold as dinner napkins, but I think they’d make a good kitchen towel for when guests are over.
Absorbent felt is a good landing pad for glassware with condensation, and these coasters will work well in my new study (I already have a set in Brooklyn).
I’ve wanted one of these whale-shaped Klizia 97 staplers for years. Got one in gold—plus, a staple remover, because I have a soft spot for minimalist industrial tools.
Wish I’d bought two of the Marimekko x Unikko pot holders, which are sold out online (but looks like you can still snag the full set). I should have followed the Good Pants Rule—when you find pants that fit well, buy two pairs; henceforth known as the Good Pot Holder Rule.
We recently launched a Schoolhouse x Roll & Hill lighting collection and I’m especially fond of the chandelier. It’s great for hanging over a kitchen island or long table. The light is filtered with reeded glass so there are no glaring bulbs. The fixture, when turned up high, functions as a great task light. And when dimmed, gives a room a soft glow.
If you, too, like to plan ahead, here is the framework I use for laying out my annual goals. Tad and I each do a Wheel of Life and share them with each other—it always helps to be held accountable by someone you love! And if you, too, are a paper goods junkie, here are some of my favorites notepads (for making lists!) and planners:
A refillable pad with a satisfying brass bar for neatly tearing off sheets.
Reminders look less daunting on a stack of heavy paper stock notecards.
I stock up on these medium notepad blocks as host gifts and holiday gifts. (They change up the colorways every season; right now, I’m into Pineapple and Candy.) But this hefty memo block is for me!
Every home could use a seasonal planner.
A collection of interesting pantry goods I’ve come across—as random and charming as our wood floors in Brooklyn:
Ayoh! Molly Baz’s new line of loose, squeezable mayos. Go ahead and try all the flavors, but I bet you’re going to fall for the Dijonayo and Giardinayo.
Mazzura Less sweet than Aperol and less bitter than Campari; made with botanicals and no colorings. This Campari-loyalist is a fan.
Meurisse Dark Orange This 180-year-old chocolate brand makes lots of different kinds of chocolate bars (or “tablets” as they call them). I like this one that’s a little bitter and pebbled with orange zest.
St Agrestis Amaro Soaked Cherries Put ’em on ice cream or on granola!
This is kind of a silly comment, but your book cooking for Mr. Latte was one of my absolute favorites in high school. I even went to a book signing! I was so inspired by your writing. And I carried that worn book around with me for YEARS…(decades) and then, about two years ago…my dog ate it. 😑
Wow! I have been following you through Food 52, have experienced some of the issues that must have led you to reevaluate things and am wishing you well in your new adventure! I am a 35 year surgeon who is opening an Art Deco bar in rural WI and continuing to work so that my “other” project has the best chance of success. Good luck!